The "Quote Board"

One side effect of a kitchen renovation is that all artwork and wall hangings have to be removed for the new paint.  Everything has been gone from our space for a couple of months, and now it is time to unpack and survey possessions to see what goes back in.  

My "Spaghetti Guy" (a.k.a. "The Man of the House") painting was back on the wall in his new spot before the new counter top was even in... but other pieces are still stacked in the basement awaiting judgement.  

One such piece is our "Quote Board."  Our infamous quote board, which is actually an old recycled piece of faded yellow bristol board stuck on the wall with tape. This piece of paper has been an institution in our family for almost five years.  It has been decorated and written on, referred to and often autographed by our female friends and family visitors.  

It may not be pretty, but it is our family creed.  It evolves with us, it grows as we grow, and it lifts us when we fall.  We all contribute to it, and we all take from it what we need: 

One winter morning in the wee hours I was sitting quietly in the kitchen pouting over a broken heart, looking around at my house, at my life, and I thought of one of my favourite quotes from childhood.  Early in my life I began collecting quotes, my first memory of this quirk began with Eleanor Roosevelt saying on a page "We teach people how to treat us."  

I noticed how much I missed the whiteboard/corkboard that had hung beside my EX-armoire in the kitchen, how I had printed a Dr. Seuss quote beside a balsamic vinegar dressing recipe and the newspaper clipping of Bill's valu-mart store hours.  I needed to replace that quote, and I couldn't think of any better time to do it.  

Rummaging around in the basement at 4 a.m. I found an old bristol board from my Meaford Farmers Market Board of Director days, flipped it over on the kitchen counter, sat down with my couple of fancy coloured Sharpies and started writing.  I surprised myself by remembering quite a few of the items on the whiteboard, then I ran down and retrieved the EX-whiteboard from the rubble to copy the quotes I had missed.

In my idiom-inspired Sharpie-fume fervor I barely noticed Cassie sleepily perched across from me until she asked if she could put something on that piece of paper.  "Of course!" I said, and rustled up some crafting supplies for her to create that big pink butterfly stuck on the left in the photo above.  We chatted and crafted until the sun came up, and when Claire woke up she was only briefly puzzled by our very awake state.  She hopped on board and had to create something as well, hence the heart-filled peace sign to the left of their tiny school photos stolen from the proof thingy from the school photographer. 

Those items have remained there all this time, as have the original quotes I neatly printed that morning.  We have added to the "board" numerous times and we still have plenty of room, although the girls all know that additions to the board are a sacred act, approved only by myself.  

Should they wish to have quote boards in their homes when they grow up they can put whatever they want on them.  For this one I will rely on my wisdom and experience to sift through the superficial social media stuff they come across daily, and allow only true, intelligent, and inspirational comments.

The photo is small so I thought I would share some of our favourites.  These quotes may be historical, may be realistic, may be deep in meaning for some and not for others, but they are all essential to who Claire and Cass and I are.  I hope you enjoy some of our favourites:

Fortune favours the brave

Luck = when preparation and opportunity meet

A MISTAKE MADE MORE THAN TWICE, IS A DECISION.

Honesty is the best policy

If you're never scared, or embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take any chances.

You are what you think you are! 

What do you think you are? ~ Oprah

There are also some clippings that have meaning for us, a romantic card, a medal of friendship from a birthday party, a couple of photos, including one of Captain Jack Sparrow.  If you happen to not be familiar with him here is a closer look:

(YAHOO!!! Now I have Robert Downey Jr. AND Johnny Depp on my blog!!!)

 We must not weep for what might have been... for there is still time. ~ Edward Matchett

And one of my personal favourites and possibly the most true:

Treat every problem like a dog would: 

PISS ON IT AND WALK AWAY

 Yes, the quote board will be taped back on the wall... at 4 a.m. tomorrow.  :-)

Renovation Reflections

Yesterday my kitchen renovation was officially complete. It began October 5, there were few snags, it's all done now ~ overall project success! 

Thought I would post a few photos and notes for amusement...  #1 tip I would pass along to anyone about to undergo a major reno?  Keep your cold air return and vent registers covered during the work process!! 

Random items such as dog toys (namely bouncy roll-y BALLS) (which are expensive!) easily roll into the ducts when they are open.  Dog thinks it's fun.  Duct-cleaning-furnace-maintenance guy does NOT. 

Claire and I began the demolition process when the dumpster arrived a couple days before the contractor, with Reese looking on in confusion/horror, perhaps wondering if his humans had gone crazy (there may have been some raucous yelling while we bashed apart the old cabinetry and flinged it with glee into the dumpster):

Our strong-silent-type Contractor continued the demolition with careful removal of the 70's decorative bulkheads on the ceiling, and properly cleaned and repaired the sub floor to prepare for the new 12mm laminate flooring I chose (our house is too doggy and high traffic to have easily-destroyed hardwood).  

 

The Electricians helped us map out the grid for all new recessed lighting - I think the new pot lights are my favourite part of the reno?  hhhhmmm.. that and the dishwasher.  Yah baby - D I S H W A S H E R

Felt like we were camping in our own home for a couple weeks there, but worth it.

Cabinets started coming together, major drywall patching on the ceiling, flooring in half a room at a time, fresh paint... just a four-week wait for the new countertop. Beloved countertop...

The bench, with storage, for which the Warden is fashioning a cushion. :-) 

The hutch, for all the paperwork junk and technology our family loves to use:

Nod to my beloved Norwex representative for showing me awesome and environmentally-friendly products for cleaning the new sink!

 

And.... tah dah..... done! 

I have dreamed of this renovation for the 12 years I have owned this house, and it has turned out even better than I had imagined it would. It's like my very own little Make-A-Wish dream come true (except I got to pay for it all LOL).  

Many thanks go out to everyone involved, from the Home Depot folks who walked me through the whole design process, to the amazingly talented and cool-as-a-cucumber Contractor who became part of our family for the time he lovingly spent restoring my home to my specifications, to the family and friends who patiently put up with me through the process.  I have not been a peach to deal with some days.  Imagine!

I thought long and hard before making the decision to renovate while off work battling cancer; was it the right time to do it or should I have waited until I was back to work and had to deal with that stress as well as reno stress?  

I found it to be a surprising amount of work, it increased my busy factor by quite a bit.  Lots of decision-making and errand-running, not to mention packing, cleaning, and unpacking.  I thought I would want to and have time to escape reno commotion to catch up on visits with friends out of my house but it was just the opposite; any time I wasn't involved in reno stuff or every day  family stuff, I was doubly exhausted than my normal.  Thankfully Contractor made it easy on me, he is extremely neat and thorough, and considerate in everything he does.

We jumped in with both feet and just went for it, and now I am glad we did.  Not only is the kitchen more functional (especially for my bum leg the drawers are SO much easier to use!) it is more comfortable for us to relax, cook, and hang out in.  Our family and friends can sit and enjoy this fresh start and MY fresh start all together in one beautiful, healthy environment.  I am so grateful! 

Article & Photos © Natalie Richardson, 2015

...and in other news... Melanoma Awareness

We have had a busy couple of months around here, all the usual stuff plus kitchen renovation, Cassie's ankle physio/recovery, grade eight homework times two, the girls' play rehearsals for the Kids in the Meaford Hall production of Aladdin in December, kitchen renovation, my antisocial crankiness, trips to Toronto, oh and did I mention kitchen renovation?  Phew it has been a whirlwind!  Overall good though, lots to report.

With my "remission" revelation comes renewed energy and desire to promote awareness of melanoma and it's related issues.  In May I participated in a cool Melanoma Monday event in Toronto on behalf of Save Your Skin Foundation (SYSF), the La Roche-Posay Become a Skin Checker campaign.  I had also written a blog as a guest on the SYSF website, and spoke in a webinar on my perspective of survivorship, also with SYSF.  

I am pleased to report I have been asked to participate in another upcoming SYSF event also in Toronto.  I will be among a small number of people presenting to the Ontario Government in early December on the top needs of a melanoma patient going into 2016.  Patient advocacy is a large part of the work SYSF does, and I am happy to share my perspective as a patient on the melanoma experience as it is today.  I have been relatively fortunate in my melanoma treatment and I know I am lucky to still be here to talk about it a year and a half after diagnosis.  I wish to bring awareness to this disease so that other Canadians can also have timely access to treatment of metastatic melanoma. 

This week I am also booked for a conference call with a Toronto-based team managing an upcoming skin cancer awareness project in collaboration with Save Your Skin Foundation. It sounds like it will be a social media campaign bringing awareness to sun safety and some other stuff that I can't share just yet but will discuss if and when it works out.  I am looking forward to hearing more about it! 

More details to come...  In the meantime I will share one of my favourite photos from treatment days at Odette Cancer Centre, Sunnybrook, in Toronto.   It was a random photo I took of my bracelets.  My hospital ID, and my beloved charm bracelet given to me by a friend for Christmas, on which I have charms that I have collected as rewards to myself for milestones in the last couple of years.   I feel this photo shows many facets of the state of my personality at this time.  Juxtaposition of cancer treatment and my real life, if you will:

 PS - Just for the record, for those of you who may wish to ask: no I do not have a "return to work" plan in place as of yet.  I still have quite a way to go in my physical and emotional recovery, and I am still going to need time before returning to my very public-facing employment position.  I have been in shock for a year and a half, it is quite reasonable to expect that it will take some time for myself and my family to recover from that alone.  Just saying.  


Thank you for your continued love and support!

Week 68 and the R-Word

I am here.  We made it.  Week 68 marks the conclusion of the MEC3 clinical trial for ipilimumab treatment of metastatic melanoma in which I have been participating at Sunnybrook since August 2014.  

I will still have head-to-knee CT scans every three months for monitoring recurrence, and my bloodwork will still travel to Chicago for research purposes, but the technical time frame of the trial is finished.  Pacmen are in and continuing to do their work, and I am looking forward to January when the three month post-treatment time hits and (we are hoping) my side effects will subside.  My last treatment was at the end of September but the tummy trouble, fatigue, and chemo brain remain - January 2016 brings the first of a treatment-free period since my diagnosis in April 2014.  

It is no secret that I have been struggling with my cancer battle, both physically and mentally.  The emotional turmoil rivals my physical scars for pain and confusion.  I can recall the exact moment that I last felt I was my care-free self.  Let's just say it was a long time ago.  My carefree is gone, replaced by anger and fear; I have been working hard to put my life back together in some semblance of what it used to be.  Like a puzzle with some broken pieces, I am hoping I can be put together, just maybe with some tape on the damaged spots. 

This is where I will begin: remission.  Yes, I said it.  Last week I met with my Endocrinologist who monitors my post- thyroid-cancer situation, AND my Medical Oncologist who has my post-melanoma situation under close surveillance.  They both confirmed what my lovely Family Physician suggested, that I can consider both cancers in remission at this time. 

I have told a few people but this is the first official shout from the rooftops... I have had to let the information sink in and have enjoyed a quiet swim in it privately before I could put to words my feelings about it.  I have been in a state of shock since diagnosis a year and a half ago, and now I feel that stress may actually get a reprieve.  

I am in remission.  I feel relieved. 

This is the first time since April 2014 that I actually believe I may live to see my daughters graduate post-secondary school and see them build their lives and families.  

This is the first time I have instinctively felt that I can refer to myself as a Survivor.  

In the past year I have referred to myself as "survivING," but that pales in comparison to the relief and hope I now feel in my heart and soul.  I really may actually have that pacman party I have been talking about.  I may not be done with my cancer war, but I have survived the first battle. Major battle.  Survived. 

My gratitude is enormous, for my family and friends who have helped my girlies and I in countless ways.  I am grateful for the stroke of "luck" that got me the ipilimumab treatment in the randomized draw I signed up for.  I am grateful that my body has been strong enough to tolerate the treatment.  I am grateful for the continuous care and support I get from my medical team.  There are so many pieces that have come together to get me through this past year and a half, it will take me another year and a half to name them all!

A few weeks ago I wrote about the R-Words in cancer, and I do need to clarify my use of the word REMISSION, as it relates to me:

Papillary Thyroid Cancer - my Endocrinologist said that remission is not a term used in this type of cancer.  But my 6-month thyroid ultrasound shows "no evidence of disease."  That is the good part! My bloodwork and scan was normal save for a few enlarged lymph nodes, and I will have another ultrasound six months from now, but in the meantime yes, I can call it "no evidence of disease" thanks to the surgery last December and the radioactive iodine treatment in March 2015.  Thank you!! 

Stage IIIb Nodular Melanoma - similar to the Endocrinologist's explanation, my Oncologist said that remission is not a term used in the field of melanoma treatment, it is actually a Hematology term (blood-related cancers).   She said we can refer to my melanoma as "under surveillance," no evidence of disease at the moment, based on clear CT scans.  I'll take it!  Thank you!!!

In any case, I am going to use the word remission. Remission Remission REMISSION!!

I am still at high risk for recurrence and the melanoma remains the more serious threat, but for now I will bask in the glow of some sweet sweet survivorship and work my ass off to get my life back.