"Nail polish gives you cancer"

I have not tackled chemical/environmental discussions to date on this blog, I guess I'm still fairly bitter over having been diagnosed with cancer even after a relatively clean life looking after my temple.  I have long been teased by my friends for being a "tree hugger," in my vegetarian days my Sista even called my food "bird seed." I am still quite green-leaning though I have returned to using the likes of aluminum-laden anti-perspirant, Tide pods, and Keurig cups.  Oh and nail polish.  

I have never been a crazy nail diva, just every now and then I enjoy sassing up my manicure for fun.  I even began painting my daughters' nails with chemicals when they wanted to copy Mommy and have shiny nails.  For a few years we used only natural/non-toxic polishes such as Piggy Paint.  But mainly we used whatever brands provided the colours we wanted.

My main polish fetish is for my toes; I like pretty tootsies.  My manicure usually suffers the realities of hard-workin' woman syndrome anyway: dishpan hands, mom-please-open-this, bank teller cash counting (and constant hand-washing), cash office manager paper shuffling and other grocery store perils.  But there are a couple of times per year that I crave a nail design to suit the holiday.  Deep red at Christmas for example, tiny witch and ghost stickers at Halloween, and my favourite for nail decorating: Valentine's Day.  

Ah yes, Valentine's Day.  Honestly I am a romantic at heart, but for me Valentine's Day appeals only to the black of my soul.  Too many fairy-tale let-downs perhaps. Therefore I enjoy a glossy black manicure at Valentine's Day, it's a tradition I can't seem to shake.  

It used to make the gentlemen customers at the bank chuckle... I think they shuddered inside? But they always asked me about it, and comments on the timing of a BLACK manicure on the PINKY RED "holiday" were fodder for many cynical romance jokes at my wicket.  

I think it is what got me through the holiday where everyone else was vomiting hearts all over.  (That is one problem with working a retail or public-facing job, you have to cater to the masses. Sell sell sell!  Well baby I could sell a black heart to a cupid on V-Day.)

As this Valentine's Day approaches, I have felt the pull toward the manicure kit.  I had visited the spa last Saturday for a toe treatment, now my fingernails needed a touching up.  I asked Claire if I could borrow her black and she said "MOM - nail polish gives you cancer!"  UGH  Yes dear, now hand it over, Momma needs a  shine!!  

This is what has made me chuckle all day, my kid straightened me out as to the poor life choice I was making by wanting to paint my nails.  Good for her, I'm glad she is listening (as she absent-mindedly scrapes the rest of the chipped grey polish off her nails while reading her David Suzuki book).

I have decided to leave the issue rest with my teenagers - I learned early with twins to choose my battles.  I harass them enough on the big stuff (which seems to be working all right), so some of the little stuff I leave alone. 

I can hardly argue with them about nail polish when they see me drinking coffee (or other chemicals haha), or cleaning with Windex, or driving a car, or having wi-fi currents pulsing through our house, or burning candles simply for fragrance, or any selection of the life-threatening non-green stuff I do daily... such as breathing, crossing the street...receiving pharmaceutical treatments with residual effects the likes of the Chernobyl disaster.    

A little nail polish here and there isn't going to kill us.  I'm pretty sure it's cancer that's gonna get me, and I already have that so HA.  Malignancies do not grow on nail polish fumes, just like melanoma in the lymph system does not grow from new sun exposure.  Just saying! 

In any case, I will remain on the fence where I typically reside anymore.  I will paint my nails pretty today, but I will be mindful of the compromise I maintain will be our saving grace:  I will use "3-free" polish.  It is available in my favourite brand anyway, O.P.I. always has the funkiest colours, and last year I purchased the perfect shade to compliment the ladybug tattoo on my foot.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been searching through my old blog documents for a post I wrote a few years ago about Valentine's Day.  If I recall it was a rant... pretty environmentalist-leaning and anti-Valentine's Day candy distribution in schools.  Ahh.. the good old days, simple.  My kids were younger, and my ideals were less complicated. Live and learn.   I can't find the old rant so I guess it was meant to be shared only once.  In it's place I will leave you with a couple of funnies from my old blog photo archives:

                               ;-)

Happy Valentine's Day!  Or should I say, 

Happy Black Nail Polish Day  :-)

(Of course I reserve the right to post a photo on Sunday of the adorable heart-shaped box of chocolates my dear friend gave me - it has a pair of CHOCOLATE LAB PUPPIES on the front of it!  That stuff still gets me... I am definitely going to run with the chocolate lab jokes this Valentines Day.  I didn't say I was against chocolate!)

World Cancer Day 2016

World Cancer Day is the one singular initiative under which the entire world can unite together in the fight against the global cancer epidemic. It takes place every year on 4 February.

www.worldcancerday.org

Why is World Cancer Day important?

Currently, 8.2 million people die from cancer worldwide every year, out of which, 4 million people die prematurely (aged 30 to 69 years).

World Cancer Day is the ideal opportunity to spread the word and raise the profile of cancer in people’s minds and in the world’s media.

 

Just for interests' sake..... 

here is an updated list of cancer awareness ribbon colours: 

I guess I can boast black and teal/pink/blue.   Strange thought.

   

Prednisone

Here we go.  Yesterday I began a course of prednisone to attempt to help my body stop the severe and often unpredictable tummy trouble with which I have been struggling.  I have been trying to avoid this drug for over a year, and yesterday my medical oncologist phoned me (again) and strongly advised (again) that I get my sorry butt to the pharmacy and take the prescription she faxed to Meaford.  

It is nasty stuff, I have read about the side-effects and I know of several friends' horror stories about it.  This is a pharmaceutical that is evil to the human body. I am inspired to write a blog post about a patients right to refuse any given treatment, and how self-advocacy works in the medical system.  I know I can refuse this drug, but I also have to balance the medical opinion of my very experienced highly trained doctors.

My chief oncologist explained a course of prednisone like this:  for someone in my situation, who had eight treatments of a very potent immunotherapy, my immune system was kicked into overdrive and seems to have stayed there.  

Under the influence of immunotherapy, the body is triggered to fight melanoma cells, which it seems to be doing, as I have not had recurrence since August 2014.  Well it doesn't "fight" the melanoma cells exactly; the true medical explanation is this: ipilimumab is a fully human monoclonal antibody, blocking CTLA-4 receptor and potentiating T cell activation.  

Along with this trigger, the immune system can start to attack the body itself, usually beginning with the intestinal system.  So now I need the help of a powerful steroid to calm the inflammation in my digestive system, tell my body to stop being upset in there.  

Prednisone belongs to the group of medications called corticosteroids. It is used to treat a number of conditions. It is more commonly used to treat allergic reactions, some skin conditions, severe asthma, and arthritis. It can also be used to treat steroid deficiency in the body, certain blood disorders, certain types of cancer, and ulcerative colitis. It works by reducing swelling, inflammation, and irritation; by suppressing the body's immune response; or by replacing steroids when production by the body is deficient. (for more info click here)

I will take a 15-day course of this drug, beginning with 50mg (10 pills) per day for three days, then 8 pills per day for 3 days, 6 pills for 3 days, 4 pills for 3 days, 2 pills for 3 days, then stop.  The pharmacist explained that the first large dose should boost the body's ability to calm the inflammation, then the dose tapers off gradually so that the body realizes that it needs to produce it's own steroid (still/again?) to do the job itself. 

When I signed up for this trial I knew a future of ulcerative colitis was a risked side-effect, but dying of melanoma was the alternative, so I did what I had to do.  I went for it, figuring I'd somehow escape the chances of the bad or long-lasting effects I had been informed were a possibility.  I am in no way upset with my physicians, they are not responsible for this, and I am not angry with them.  

I am simply upset that I have to take this shit.  Weight gain and severe mood swings are just the things I have been trying to step away from!  And now I am set back.  I spent most of yesterday in tears; I have been just starting to feel better about how to manage my melanoma going forward, start thinking there may be a light at the end of the tunnel and then I get pushed back down again. Get a reality check.  Things will never be better again. Normal is gone. Carefree has checked out of the building.

My lineup: prednisone, and a "tummy protector" to help reduce stomach damage from pred, then daily vitamins - B12, iron, calcium, and the special D. Plus the two meds on my nightstand that I was too pissy to photogragh.

I took the pills at lunchtime and sure enough the predicted nausea remained until bedtime, where insomnia took over.  I am dizzy, very thirsty, my hands are shaking, super hot/sweaty last evening now freezing this morning, and I feel like I am already puffing up.  My family physician said that the weight gain or puffiness associated with prednisone is water retention, and that when I am done taking it the puffiness will go away.

  

The trick will be to not increase eating, as the possible side effect of increased appetite goes hand in hand with the spikes of energy and/or perceived euphoria from the prednisone.  Family doc said that my house will be spotless because I'll have so much energy!?  HA  I'd like to see that.  That is a positive though I guess, as my fatigue has still been a problem.  

So the next few weeks around here will look this: Fat me running around the house brandishing the swiffer, alternating between crying and yelling at my family. Oh yes and let's not forget the constipation... diarrhea be gone, but the alternative?  Great.  :-( 

Hopefully we achieve the goal of stopping the intestinal distress, and I can get back on here in a few months lamenting how much better I feel and wondering why I ever fought against the prednisone in the first place.  If it doesn't work however, I will be referred to a gastrointestinal specialist to investigate further.

In the meantime, I will deal with this step along the journey privately, stay tucked away at home for a bit, and just suck it up.  I have already been pretty antisocial, and hibernating has been therapeutic for me and for the girls, but for the next couple of weeks I am going to lay low and just stay in my corner licking my wounds.  

 

 

 

Article © Natalie Richardson 2016

To Snow Day, or Not to Snow Day?

We get some doozy snow days in Meaford, lake effect snow has been known to surprise us with very deep mornings, wind whipping the icy white in all directions, making conditions unsuitable for school buses to drive our precious children around the scary roads.  

This year we have had just a few so far, the mild winter has afforded many sunny or just wet days for the bus or walking commute.  I have heard complaints from fellow in-town parents that the last couple of snow days were unjustly decided upon, a forecast that was worse than what had actually arrived? or a sunny frozen-rain day that must have caused the back roads to be slippery?  

Easy for some to criticize, but I know there is a lot that goes into the process of calling a snow day, a.k.a. No-Bus Day.  A few years ago when I was coordinating a fund raising event for the girls' school I heavily debated the timing of a February gig, as the entertainment would have to come from the city and the whole thing would be cancelled should the bus kids not be able to make it to town.  It was an early morning of phone calls with the principal, opinions flying back and forth between school board dignitaries and bus line managers - all relying on the weather network if that gives you any indication as to the confusion attributed to a snowy country morning.  

Much of my childhood/teen years were in the country as well, I don't remember having many snow days in Muskoka ha ha NO. They just drove the busses through it.  But the snow belt in which I got my high school education was sure to provide several snow days annually: postponed exams every January, mile-high snowbanks on the highways, and icy wind swirling it all around like some horror movie snow globe set.  I was a town kid then, but I rarely hiked to school on those days, it was an extra day to study, or catch an extra shift at my awesome student job in the local hospital kitchen, or do both of those and then go find some mischief with my friends.  

Now I have the distinct pleasure of watching my teenagers decide how to make the best use of their time on no-bus days.  They are town kids.  They can walk to school. There have only been a couple of days so bad that I wouldn't have allowed them to walk.  Had they wanted to.... this is where things get sticky for me as a parent.  

I fondly remember the days when they would go to school on snow days and have fun with their townie friends, extra gym time and kindergarten crafts! Ah the good old days.  Now I have exhausted teens who NEED to sleep in, stay home and blast their music while calling their friends to come over and take over the kitchen with baking apparatus and sugar everywhere.  They play on their social media, they practice their makeup skills and dye their hair, they mmaaaay clean their rooms if under great duress, or if it happens to be a CLEAR no-bus day like yesterday, then they adore me for taking them to the mall.  To go shopping.  With their friends.  Not with me. LOL

I think I always knew this shift would happen, I just do not recall when it actually did.   

As juniors they always clamoured for a fun snow day at school, but then around grade six they started to want to skip on snow days, we alternated home day with forced school attendance day.  Now this is the second winter I have lost the battle, grade eight and independence reigns.  Extra gym time does not entice a grade eight girl to want to leave her cozy dark bedroom before 10 a.m. without Mom's big snow-day breakfast. No! Apparently none of them do? 

Grade eight is a time of boundary exploration.  They are beginning to make the choices for themselves: spend a free day catching up or getting ahead on school work? Or pushing the deadline and seeing if the teacher will give the town kids the same extension as the country ones get. Haha  All with flawless hairstyles and new clothes and music I might add.

I do not begrudge them this time, they know as well as I do that I love having them home on what feels like a bonus weekend day.  Especially while I am able to be home to enjoy spending this time with them and their friends.  It is true I enjoy making a special breakfast on snow days, there is always a surprise pack of bacon or pancake chocolate chips to pass the morning by.  

Claire has perfected her omelette-making technique. (I still remember my Auntie C teaching me to make omelettes when I was that age, she beat the whites fluffy separate from the yolks and added the filling at the end, like a fancy brunch plate made to order. That is one of my first memories of learning to cook, it sparked my passion for all things kitchen.)

Yesterday we played games as well, early morning chess, Cathedral World, then Cassie's new board game, then a card game, then closed the day with more chess.  It was so fun, we vowed to chess again tonight.  

Thanks to my friend who taught me a few years ago, it has become not only a skill I value having in my back pocket, but it is a character trait I find appealing in myself and in others who possess it.  I think it is fair to call chess a character trait.  I had abandoned it for a few years while busy full-time working and mothering, but now I have dusted off my rooks and game on!  The girls play each other and have started playing with their teacher on breaks at school, fantastic.

   

I daresay there was a bit of school work attempted yesterday, it is speech-writing season after all.  They have chosen their topics now the laborious practice begins.  I have witnessed them working with their friends on snow days as well, on a group project or helping each other catch up.  I think (hope) they are getting the true value of the balance I want for no-bus days.  

Now that they have firmly decided upon their high school, they will be the bus kids indeed, and there will be no need for argument as to whether or not they will go to school on any given snow day.  They have decided to attend West Hill Secondary School a half hour away, wowee!! Daily bus rides will be new to them, especially the fact that they will have to be ready and out the door for 7:30 A.M. every day! (we tend to find 8:59 a.m. to be a stretch, just saying) 

I have a feeling they will truly relish no-bus days once they get a taste for their commute.   I am happy for them either way, and I will still always have baking goodies hiding for just such an occasion - the kitchen mess is worth having a day off from packing lunch kits!  

I remember these days...

                                   Scientist Claire making slime:

              Architect Cass building cardboard mansions for her toys:

 Cupcake calamity:

All in all, my experience with snow days is as with any other day: Seize The Day!    Carpe diem ~ at school or not at school, bus or no-bus, make the day count, fill it with laughter and fun,  and do what you gotta do.  

Even if it's a case of no-trains - when stuck in a hotel for six extra days, knit socks!  

Nod to my Mom and her friend who traveled from Florida to New York City for a craft show last weekend and to see some sights, and ended up getting snowed in!  They have been storm-stayed at their hotel, even Broadway was shut down - there was a street curfew for cars so that the snow plows could try to dig out New York, NY.   But they knitted... and we all get new socks yay!  They are on their way back to Florida now, if the train ever gets them out of the huge snow on the north east coast. Safe travels Mom! 

   

Article & Photos © Natalie Richardson 2016

Melanoma Connect - I'mLivingProof.ca

My melanoma star is on the map.  Yes, I actually committed to putting a photo and short video of myself on the world wide web - outside the comfort of my little blog - gasp!  

I am happy to announce that I am participating in a program hosted by Save Your Skin Foundation (SYSF) to connect melanoma patients across Canada, and perhaps beyond.  SYSF founder Kathy Barnard is spending her well-earned survior-time helping others by way of emotional support and friendship, patient advocacy, working to increase awareness of metastatic melanoma and possible treatments, and connecting melanoma patients should they wish to be connected with others.  This site/group goes far beyond the basics of warning people to wear sunscreen; it is informative, warm, inviting, helpful, and proactive.

I am proud to join this group of survivors and to try to help bring awareness to this disease, and I am hoping that if I can help even one person to lighten their burden of a melanoma diagnosis, then I may be able to return even a small bit of the love and support I have received since my cancer journey began.  

Please check out their site to see what it's all about:

 

 http://imlivingproof.ca/natalies-story/

My friends and family may recognize the location of the little star above the "T" in Toronto, that's Meaford!  That's me.  By clicking on any of these stars you will meet a melanoma patient with a story to share, and it includes a short Bio as well as a little video (mine is very obviously home-made, thank you Claire and Cassie!).  Along with the photo and bio is an orange button that anyone can click on to have SYSF connect patients via email and they can go from there.  

Please check out their whole site... my guest blog piece is on there too:

 

When Kathy Barnard (Founder, Save Your Skin Foundation) was diagnosed with Metastatic Malignant Melanoma in 2003, the first thing she did was look to the internet for anything that would inspire optimism for her prognosis: hope, survivors, or treatment options. She didn't find much.

The I’m Living Proof initiative is a program intended to provide a wealth of information, resources, and support to those touched by the disease, while also connecting you to a community of survivors who have shared their stories. This initiative is borne from Kathy’s desire to ensure that those diagnosed with melanoma know that surviving melanoma is possible –“I’m Living Proof."

Hand in hand we fight Melanoma together
Join us and connect with other melanoma survivors and supporters

Sign up for their Newsletter

 

 (Scroll to the bottom of the home page to find this sign-up box!)

Check out their webinars and other helpful links

Who Are You Surviving For Program- 

Write to your MLA/MPP and Health Minister 

Thank you Save Your Skin Foundation!  



 

Relaxing Saturday

Another busy week in the house of melanoma momma-ing, wow I am glad I'm getting some energy back as these days make me wonder how we survived the last year and a half while I was napping!?  I still celebrate the small accomplishments but I really love it when they add up to more than the "new-normal" standard I set for myself.  

Couple of random updates from here:

I have lost eight pounds!  Yahoo, I have been paying very close attention to my nutritional habits for the last few weeks, and I am inspired by my body's quick response to the less meat, less alcohol, no wheat, dairy, or sugar regime that I have dug out of my back pocket from years ago.  

I am not new to weight-gain weight-loss due to life or health circumstances -having twins pretty much surrenders ones body to an involuntary increase in fluffiness that takes hard work to remove - and this post-cancer-treatment weight gain is no different in my mind.  I am determined to feel better, get my strength back, resume my graceful-swan mountain-goat-like athletic ambition into hiking and biking... okay, I may be exaggerating a bit there HA! Anyone who knows me knows that I am the clumsiest duckling out there.  I try though, I do try.  LOL

This week I visited my family doctor for a mid-point check-up, I don't go back to Sunnybrook until March so I wanted to have a local run of bloodwork to see how I am doing this far after treatment.  With all of this vitamin-taking and liver resting I wanted to see if my bloodwork reflects the benefits I think I am feeling.  I needed to check in on my vitamin D and calcium levels (I am terrible at taking those hateful supplements) and B12 (wanted to see if the tablet chewing was really working) and thyroid hormone/supplement levels.

  

We checked everything top to bottom and great news, everything is perfect!! Motivation to take that darn calcium!  The only thing a bit low is my Iron...again.  I struggled with that years ago, now time to boost it again I guess.  That's fair, I found an iron supplement I actually tolerate well:

So that's good news, I am detox-ing and de-puffing, which is helping me with the de-stressing.  Vitamins supporting the body systems that have been out of whack for so long, herbal teas to reduce fluid retention and cleanse the liver, and apple cider vinegar to do everything it seems to do, all topped off with essential oils for pain-relief instead of analgesics, I am a happy camper.  There is hope anyway.    

One snag is the tummy trouble.  My medical oncologist (The Boss) is concerned with the prolonged bout of Imodium-need I am having let's just say, and she is urging me to consume a course of Prednisone to try to stop it.  I am desperately against adding a new medication to my regimen now that I am working so hard to clean up post-treatment, especially a medication as harsh as that one.  

Prednisone is a cortico-steroid that can reduce inflammation in the bowels and stop or reduce the damage that has been done by the pacmen, but the side-effects of it include weight gain, mood swings, and a host of other scary things I am trying to leave behind.  

I am putting her off for now as I feel we are still too close to my last treatment to get a good indication of whether or not this side-effect will clear up on its own.  I want to wait, I am willing to see if it stops by itself.  My bloodwork shows I am doing okay, and I am feeling quite a bit better, so the bathroom trips seem not to be affecting my general health.  

I knew colitis was a risk of the ipilimumab treatment, but I am not going to call it just yet.  I am quite aware that it can take months, years to recover from the crap I went through. Pun intended.  Family Doc and I will confer with The Boss if it comes to that point, and in the meantime I am going to get a third opinion from a Naturopath in Collingwood that my CCAC Nurse recommended for colitis-symptoms specifically.  

Dietary-wise, I have been cooking a lot.  Funny for a person working on weight loss, but indeed, I have been cooking and trying new recipes, especially for soups.  With trying to eliminate foods that may aggravate or trigger my tummy trouble, I have been having a lot of fun experimenting with new recipes again.  I used to do this a lot, and it's nice to be back.  

It is such a phenomenal pleasure to cook in my new kitchen, everything is so easy to use, keep organized, and to clean WHOA! Dishwasher is a whole new world.  I have satisfied my cravings for veggies with spicy soups such as this Coconut Curry Sweet Potato soup ....extra yummy with pumpkin seeds or hemp seeds as a garnish.  I am going to blast that cancer with beta-carotene, omegas, and alkalinity!

  

Okay... so body details done, I have lots to report on the mental/emotional side of things too.  I was a bit cranky this week but (maybe that was full moon related?) overall have been feeling pretty productive.  The kids seem to have been extra busy/needy and I think I handled it all right, plus I have been thinking a tonne about my book and the research I have been doing for it.  The preparation for writing is just as important as the writing itself, and I have found a couple of new avenues for inspiration.  Instagram for example, has been a new pet addiction for me this week.  There are SO many creative people in this world, and I am having fun connecting with them! 

I have also been thinking of blog updates as that all goes hand in hand, in my experience.  My book relates to my blog but they will be two separate entities so I am carefully planning how I will mesh the two, or how I will write publicly in the meantime.  I have been reminiscing quite a bit, about my Italy trip and photos, and my old blog which displayed much of my perspective on environmental issues, family environment but also Earth environment.  I was rooting around in my old laptop files and even managed to find a screenshot of my old blog.  Weird!  I had been trying to remember what it looked like and voila! One snow day last week I found this:

I found my old blog post about making sushi as well, I may have to dig it out and re-post.  The girls have been bugging me since the kitchen reno was done to have a sushi party for their friends.  I fear I am rusty at rolling but I guess I won't know until I just jump back in?  I'll keep you posted.  haha

Well, my simmering Spicy Thai Coconut Chicken soup is calling my name, so I need to go for lunch.  Then a walk with Reese, and for supper I am thinking of trying out a Jamie Oliver recipe for a dish with the fresh fennel I bought last night.  I am quite content to have my vegetarian recipes back out, feels good.  

  

(Thanks to my cousin for the photo, via Instagram xoxo)

Happy Saturday!