Learn Something New Every Day

It occurred to me today, when I sent a thank-you text to a friend who gave me some fresh quail eggs for my birthday, that I have more than ever been living by the old adage "learn something new every day."  I have always kept that phrase in the back of my mind, and I try to point out to the girls as well the importance of keeping an open mind and being receptive to new concepts.  

From my cancer experience I have learned that I need to practice the "just get one thing done today" method of survival in times of stress (I consider being in treatment for cancer one big long stint of stress). I can't remember who told me that years ago, a therapist? my Mom? a friend coping with a terrible divorce?  Just get one thing done every day.  If you end up doing more than that then Bonus!  If not, then that one thing was your accomplishment, and you can celebrate it (or just heave a sigh of relief and fall back into bed).  

So often we run on fast-forward mode for hours, days, weeks on end? In North American society in particular.  Why am I so drawn to Italian culture and the European way of life?  Because I know that it is not healthy to run run run... we need peace.  Space.      Contemplation.           Rest.  

Exercise yes, accomplishment yes, but pack every moment of every day FULL of work, activity, people, texts, correspondence, amusement, education - NO. Stop!  Take a moment to stop to smell the roses. Or take a moment to learn why the Leaning Tower of Pisa leans (Italians too busy taking afternoon naps..?)

Take a moment to learn how to plant the roses.  Chop an onion a different way, or sing a new song.  Ask your kids what one new thing they learned in school today.  Take a moment and appreciate that you just learned something new, you are able to absorb and appreciate your surroundings.  

I have become conscious of my determination to "do one thing" every day, but I have also noticed a pattern of my "learn one new thing" every day too.  Teehee - does that mean I have actually done two things per day? yahoo that IS a bonus!  :-)

Today I learned that I enjoy quail eggs.  I love eggs anyway, and I often bought turkey eggs when I worked at the 100 Mile Market, but quail I have seen only on the food channel.  How thoughtful that my friends shared some of their wee eggs with me as a gift, almost a shame to eat them.  (But we SO did!)

Yesterday I learned that my puppy likes pieces of apple that drop on the floor when I am cutting them. And.. he too needs a Monday-afternoon nap after a three-day birthday-celebration weekend.

One day last week I learned that the wheels on a longboard are called "trucks."  And another day I learned  how to properly place the hoses on my new vacuum so it works like a charm. (I have a reputation for killing vacuums - by accident! - so I bought myself one that is lightweight/cordless/powerful and that I thought I couldn't screw up. HA.  At least this one has a warranty)

At my last CT scan I learned exactly what to wear so as to not have to change into a hospital gown for the procedure.  

At my last consultation with my medical oncologist I learned that the ipilimumab treatment I am receiving can cause the kind of lymph node enlargement we are seeing on my scans (wow, that may have been handy to know sooner?).   

On the fourth day after adopting my dog I learned that I can indeed get over my constant hand-washing "thing" which was bordering on OCD - and wearing the skin off my fingers!?

Tomorrow apparently I will be learning how to cook a pork tenderloin on a Traeger LOL  Some things you learn by surprise, some you plan to learn, and some things you procrastinate on until your neighbour takes you by the hand and shows you how to do it (in hopes that you will be hooked and need to buy one?).  ;-)  I love to BBQ flame-grilled meats and veggies, but I do also like to learn new things so hey, if I can learn how to make those bacon-wrapped dill pickles my friend makes then SOLD!  I'm in.  Yes, I did say bacon-wrapped dill pickle.  Don't judge, it's amazing. 

Think I will do these too:

Think I may blog more about food too?  I am truly exploring my interests these days, trying to find that inner peace I have always been seeking, trying to find the meaning, and enjoy the experiences that come my way.  I am pretty spoiled in the grand scheme.  That is nothing new but it is something I have learned. LOL  

Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support, and for the amazing birthday surprises, messages, and  hugs.  I am 39 now, I still have a lot to learn, and I will try to do so every day. 

Oh and PS ~ This is the cat learning something new:  hahaha ...

Article © Natalie Richardson 2015

Parenting, with Cancer

Or should it be called, Cancer, while Parenting... I work on this every day, both of those words are my number one priority.  One I chose to be such, one I did not choose.  Both take all of my energy and devotion, I constantly learn from both, both have changed me in ways I may never even fully understand.  

This time of year is always extremely busy for the girls and I.  With spring weather arrives renewed chores outdoors, a bunch of birthdays in our family, and the final push in school to get everything done before report card time.  May and June have been a write-off in my books for a few years now.  I used to have control over the pace of our activities this time of year, ie. annual girls' weekend up north?  But now I fully participate in helping drag my girls to the finish line... more A's on those French Immersion report cards and lots of pats on the back. Almost summer vacation then a well-deserved sigh of relief.   

We started May with a busy Toronto blast, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It was fantastic to be able to take my girls and teach them Toronto and hang out behind the scenes of a morning television news show and meaningful publicity event.  It was a busy reminder that the entire world is our childrens' school.  

Since that crazy first week of May we have slowed things down a bit, brought focus back to our household, got our new puppy, celebrated the girls' 13th birthday.  Yes, 13.

Last year I missed Claire and Cassie's birthday, I was on strict bedrest, two weeks post-surgery. Worst weekend of my life.  I missed the annual sleepover bash we have here, and the entire time I was missing it I was afraid it was my last time to see the girls have a birthday.  I was afraid for my life.  

All of my experiences are now peppered with that fear, or that perspective.  I am "positive-thinking" yes, I know I know... but the reality of the situation calls for me to make decisions very carefully, things are different now.  I no longer approach situations as my former immortal self who may occasionally have been  impulsive.  I have to see the big picture, all the time.  No wonder I am always so tired! 

When making decisions now I have to weigh both sides of the equation, will I be here for the outcome of this?  Or will I not be here for it?  

Financial choices, career goals, home renovations, getting a dog, all of the every day dealings of a normal middle-class adult are on my mind, as they are on the minds of my friends and peers.  

But for me it goes one step further.... do I get a dog? When I'm gone will my family want to be saddled with that burden too? (Yes, the girls will have Reese as a reminder of me and how close we are)  

Should I renovate my kitchen; spend that money now? (Yes, the kitchen will be more functional and easy for me to use while I am here and then will be nice and complete for the girls to inherit)  These are every day dilemmas for me.  

A couple of my friends have criticized me for the negative overtone with which I phrase these questions to myself and others: they say everyone has those worries, that any of us could be hit by a bus one random day.  Aha yes, you could, I could, we all could, but in the meantime I can't be frivolous with my decisions as I live with melanoma.

I have always been a "seize the day" type of person, and in some ways that trait is there now even more than before, I have to reign in my habitual desire to participate in reckless behaviour - I may live long enough to regret the reckless?  On the other hand I feel bored by the level of responsibility I force myself to put on everything I do - must live for today!  But also must pave the way for a successful future, for myself and for my children... as has always been my goal, despite the sometimes bumpy roads I have chosen along my journey. 

These thoughts greatly shape my parenting these days.  I strive to teach my daughters to be adventurous and ambitious and live for today!  But I also must teach them to be conscientious of their futures and how every one of their decisions affect their lives.  

Recently they have encountered some family conflict regarding time missed from school this year.  Their grades are great and they are busy with school-community and extra-curricular activities, very well-rounded kids.  But they (I) have received criticism for their extra missed days this year.  Because of "my cancer" they have missed some school.  I beg to differ:  because of the LIFE EXPERIENCE they are gaining right now, they have missed some school.  Plus the usual snow days and sicks days I might add, wasn't just me...but I digress...

They are not behind in their work, they always stay caught up at home when called for, we work closely with their teacher in that regard.  Their health is mostly okay, some typical 13-year-old-girl ailments slow us down here and there but given their big picture they pretty much rock everything they do.  (well, except for keeping their rooms clean LOL)

So how do I encourage them to be true to themselves and do what they want, and listen to their feelings and trust themselves, and make smart choices, and still take some time to relax, know when to call it when they are tired, not stress out too much over the small stuff?  

There are books written about all of that ...Don't Sweat the Small Stuff is a saying I grew up with and now it is on coffee tables everywhere.  It is that popular for a reason:  everyone needs to learn to relax, don't sweat the small stuff!  

BUT still be conscious of the big stuff.  Find balance.  Find peace.  Be confident in yourself and respect your own needs. Trust yourself.   Be gentle with yourself.  

Ahhhhhh... how much easier that would be to do if we lived in our own little bubble and didn't have the rest of the crap to deal with. 

The kids will be home soon from their weekend, we are having prime rib roast for supper with fresh asparagus and baby red potatoes; I am teaching them to cook in between all of this parenting and cancering.  :-) They are recording their favourite recipes in the Mother-Daughter cookbooks I got them; we are filling up on memories and traditions that they can cherish now and take with them into the future.  Then I think we will take Reese for an evening walk on the beach and maybe light some sparklers.  Then start again tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Claire and Cassandra! xoxoxo

A new "leash" on life

Occasionally when I am quiet it means I am up to no good.  ha ha  I have been quiet lately, but it is up for interpretation as to whether not it is for the purpose of evil.  

I have a dog.  Yes, I adopted a puppy: a gorgeous and super-intelligent chocolate Lab who won my heart the first time he sat on my foot and waggled his floppy ears at me.  Love at first sight (and sniff, of the liver treats in my pocket wink wink).

We have had almost three weeks together.  Three very busy weeks.  He came to us fully trained, house trained, obedient, hand commands even! and he puts the ball directly in my hand every time he wants to play fetch (for an hour at a time!)  He is energetic but also very chill... he seems to know when I need to slow down.

His name is Reese.  He is my chocolate shadow.  Leave it to me to get a "foodie" dog, and leave it to us to name him a foodie name.  Cass tried to fight it, but we had to... our entire family adores Reeses Pieces and peanut butter cups and Gunner, Bandit, and Andy as names just did not suit our Reese.  MY Reese.  :-)

I have been thinking about getting a dog for a while, of course the girls have been bugging for... about... ohhhhhh.. how long have they been alive??  I wanted a pup but not baby, a relaxed dog but with energy to take me for walks every day, a medium-sized not any particular breed but a connection with my heartstrings.  and BINGO!  Found him.  In Collingwood, via kijijii.  

He is not too large for our cozy house; at nine months-ish he is almost full-grown, apparently his parents were small.  He is super social, learns quickly, sits DOWN while his food bowl is being filled (who does THAT around here??), and he loves everyone who comes into this house.  He has a serious foot fetish. He passed Claire and Cassie's crazy busy birthday party with flying colours, loves car rides, campfires, the park, the beach, kids, cats, dogs, men, women, children, devouring tennis balls and spitting them on the carpet, everything! 

Love this dude, he is a rock star.  Practically speaks to me (no really, it is NOT chemo brain this time!); Reese is very intuitive and he gets even better every day.

I am thinking he will be a big part of my ongoing physical and mental rehabilitation/recovery.   

Okay baby pics here we go! 

 

Tired on the way home from the vet

 Patiently waiting for the all-nighter-birthday-girls to wake up

 New bone

Wore a patch of fur off his nose from his giant bone gift from Baba & GeeGee! 

DOG WITH A BLOG?  :-D  teehee I couldn't help myself!  ;-)

I want to give an honourable mention to our other pets as well... Fibbs the cat is almost nine years old, most visitors we have don't even know that a cat resides here.  She is super shy and not a major fan of Reese.  YET.  But she is warming up to him and has even been seen in the same room as him a few times already this weekend!  She will come around, I know it.  

Also last summer, we got a hamster.  I have always wanted a hamster believe it or not, and this little guy Leo (named after Leonardo DiCaprio - yes, the girls had a "Titanic" phase last summer), has not disappointed!  

He is adorable and super social, we maul him all the time.  He loves honeydew melon, pea shoots, and running in his wheel all night long.  He may or may not have been last summer's start at testing the kids' responsibility/abilities with a pet... don't tell them how long I have really been thinking about getting a dog, they think they talked me into it three weeks ago! ;-)   My favourite thing about Leo is how he uses his "hands" to take treats from my hands, he is super CUTE n fuzzy. 

These animals are an integral part of our family.  Fibbs, Leo, and Reese bring their own personalities, moods, skills, benefits, comic relief, reasons for cleaning up, and most of all their love... to our family.   They enhance my life and that of our children, and I am increasingly grateful for each of them.

~ In loving memory of ... Tootsie, my pet turtle of 25 years ~