24 hours from now I will be blissfully unaware of my surroundings, which will be a vast improvement over how I am feeling now!
I hate surgery, have I mentioned that? Sorry, venting..needed a whiny moment.
It is very difficult to dread something so much but still have to keep sane plus maintain order around the house and family plus prepare for being away from home and out of condition upon return... sort of like preparing for a vacation, except not like that, no benefit of sunshine and palm tree drinks anywhere in between. :-(
The girls are settled with their lists and comforts, laundry is done, cat litter cleaned (and kitty's nails are trimmed so she is happy LOL), fridge and pantry are all set for Mom and the kids, my bed is all ready for me to snuggle in when I get home in my drug-induced haze.
Ah yes the drugs.. I am not shy with the nurses in that department, I ask for a shot as soon as I have to hand over my clothes and glasses. Yes- glasses! It is the stupid little things that freak you out when preparing for surgery, I feel very disoriented without my specs I am blind as a bat so hopefully the wait for surgery goes faster than the arrival of the panic attack.
Saying goodbye to the girls this morning was the worst.. we really hate being apart from eachother. :'-( I am now just numb with the knowledge that we have all done everything we can to prepare, we have climbed this hill on the roller coaster and now all we can do now is whoosh down the other side.
I am reassured by the fact that the girls will be so busy with their play rehearsals and performances, though I will be missing their play (for the first time ever) - that was a tough batch of tears to choke back last night. But their Baba and GeeGee will be there with them, plus their Dads side of the family plus our countless friends and supporters.
If you have time and happen to see the girls please give 'em a high five or a hug for me. We're just trying to repeat the mantra that this will be over before we know it. but still... :-/
Ok enough whining, we're on our way now, Toronto-bound and down. Sunnybrook this afternoon for clinical trial bloodwork and consultation, then staying at our fave hotel close to both hospitals.
I am to call Toronto East General this evening to get my surgery time, its looking like 9am tomorrow (Wednesday) but not sure yet. If so then I will be without glasses by around 8am. Wwaahhhhhh
Scott will let our close family know how it goes (and how amusingly loopy I will be in recovery hehe!) And then my buddy Crys will start the call(text) tree. I'm practicing blogging from my mobile device so if I can tomorrow or Thursday I will. If not, please know I am appreciating your good energy and support.
I feel very loved.. thank you. xoox
Talk to you soon! Or well..whisper, or write, or hand signals? LOL I will be a thyroid gland and some lymph nodes short of a full load if ya know what I mean. ;-)
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